If you’re searching for more information about cuckqueans, you’ve come to the right place! Let’s start with a basic question. What is a cuckquean? 

It literally means the wife of a husband who is cheating. These days, people who use the term are playing with “cheating” on purpose by utilizing a consensual cuckold. While this may sound insane, it’s actually a frequent power dynamic used by many. So let’s put our empowered pants on and look at what it means to be a cuckquean wife!

Power Dynamic Play is Thrilling

The world we live in today is made up of countless power structures. Governments and corporations dictate much of our lives. Employers take charge of our work. Landlords take charge of our homes. And growing up, most of our lives are entrusted to our parents’ decisions on our behalf. With all of this power outside our control, wanting to take a slice of the power pie is not only normal; it’s thrilling. 

For the last few centuries, marriage itself has been loaded with power too. Men have thoroughly been in charge, even with the ability to prosecute a woman for not meeting his sexual needs. Women have been legally powerless without a husband to enact their wishes in the world. So although we’ve moved on from those days in society, the norms of relationships based on ownership have been passed down. 

So when we play with power in our sex lives, we get to take that power into our own hands! We’re in the driver’s seat, and we can make anything happen. For cuckqueans, that means putting a cheating man back on their own terms. She can demand to watch it, scrutinize and command it. 

It’s OK to Play with Cheating

Since the convention marriage between 2 people began around 2350 B.C., cheating has been swinging around, breaking them up. And people have been killed and humiliated for cheating for just as long. Anytime there’s that much intensity around a situation, odds are it’s ready for a trip to kink-ville. 

It’s A-OK to play with this shame and make it become something that works for you instead of against you. When we’re consenting adults in a relationship, playing with the idea of cheating just becomes exciting role play. You’re not hurting anyone if no one is getting hurt. While stepping into the idea of cheating can be scary, learning to trust your partner and learning that they’re enjoying what you’re doing can guide you.  

In fact, it really could do something for you too. Playing with cuckquean humiliation can be really empowering for someone who was shamed in the past for their disloyalty. Even if you haven’t cheated in past relationships, if your jealous past partners shamed you for wanting to go out with the girls, or not wanting to share your phone password, being a cuckquean is a way to step back into your power. A cuckquean may sound like a weak person, but by using consent, they’re actually in the power position too. Kinky play should be healing for all parties involved.

How To Get Started Playing

1. Start the conversation. 

Since we’re playing with a topic that can be loaded with shame, it’s especially important to get started by sharing with your partners and hearing them too. First, share your own experiences with cheating. These could be your own, from friends, or parents. By sharing this information, you’re letting your partner know what it means to you. Next, ask your partner about their experiences. By sharing and listening, you’ll create a shared understanding of cheating. 

Once you’re ready to play with someone, connecting with them about this shared meaning will support a more enjoyable and consensual experience for everyone. It will help you both to understand each other. 

Here’s the fun part! Let’s chat about what excites us and what scares us. Knowing information about each other before we start to play gives us a head start on what we can look forward to AND the things we won’t enjoy playing with yet. If you don’t know yet, don’t worry! It’s really ok. You’ll have opportunities to chat all along the way. Because as we play, we’ll always learn more about ourselves and our partner(s). 

2. Fantasize together. 

Once you both have had an open conversation about what gets you hot, it’s time to start playing around with it. Plan out fantasies together. Take turns sharing parts that would turn you on. Even if you’re not actively having sex, sharing these fantasies is a great place to create some common understanding. Share what would feel good and empowering to you about being a cuckquean. 

Do you like hearing about how your partner would feel with another woman? Do you like them telling you about another woman? Or are you interested in cuckquean humiliation, where you hear about how much better they would be than you? Whatever sparks your interest, share with your partner and develop a sexy narrative together.  

Perhaps even more importantly, also make sure you tell your partner what wouldn’t turn you on about this dynamic. Some couples involved in a cuckquean power dynamic don’t like knowing certain aspects or specifics. While transparency is important, consensual non-disclosure is also a thing. Work with your partner and vocalize when it crosses the line for you. 

3. Find a community.

If you never actually act on this, that’s OK too. Your cuckquean fetish can stay hypothetical and still be totally valid and healing for you and your partner. In fact, many relationships just leave their cuckquean dreams here. 

If you do think you’re ready to start testing the waters, check out local swingers groups or those focused on polyamory. There are communities where this level of kinky play is simply the norm. People in these communities are also a great place to learn. Many of them have been involved in these kinky power relationships for decades or more. They’re a wealth of knowledge for how to proceed and negotiate with your partner what it could look like practically. 

When you’re ready, have your spouse be upfront with any potential partners they may be interested in. While it’s OK to play with kink, it’s not OK to use people for your own sexual gratification. It’s essential to make sure those you’re interested in spicing things up with are also consenting parties. 

4. Explore dirty talk. 

The beauty of a cuckquean relationship is bringing that spice back into your own bedroom. While playing the field will probably be empowering fun for your partner, the play part is really between the two of you. When you are having sex with one another, don’t be afraid to integrate into this dirty talk. Invite your partner to share details of their recent forays or ask them to compare you if you’re more into cuckquean humiliation. 

5. Keep doing what feels good. 

The key to this, and any fetish, is to continually check in to what feels good. If at any point you become uncomfortable or things get unsexy, you need to let your partner know. You both need to be prepared to shift and pivot if either one of you becomes uncomfortable in the dynamic you’re creating. After all, what is a cuckquean without being QUEEN? Take care of yourself and yours by always being honest to yourself first. Then continue building trust with your partner by allowing yourself to be heard by your partner too.