Chastity is an unassuming yet powerful way to ramp up your sex life, specifically cuckold chastity. Traditionally, this is when a man wears a chastity device or a cock cage, preventing him from any pleasure in that region of his body while he watches his wife or girlfriend have sex with another man. Of course, if your relationship dynamic isn’t man/woman, you can also indulge in cuckold chastity. It is essentially one person being in a chastity device while watching their partner have sex with someone else, although the cuckold doesn’t have to be there in person–they may choose to experience cuckold chastity through text messages, photos, or even a live video feed.

So, what is cuckold chastity?

When talking about cuckold chastity, we’re talking about combining two kinks. You’ve guessed it: chastity and cuckolding. On its own, chastity essentially involves locking your partner’s penis or vulva away so they–or anyone else–can’t touch it. It is a way for the submissive partner to give up control and allow the dominant partner to be in control of their sexual pleasure. 

Chastity devices are frequently used in BDSM play since they’re all about control, making them ideal for orgasm denial. While not having an orgasm may sound like no fun at all, orgasm denial with chastity devices can actually increase your arousal–we all know the whole thing about wanting something more because you can’t have it, right? So when you are permitted sexual pleasure, it can feel more intense. 

And in cuckolding, one person watches their partner have sex with someone else. Some people claim they’re into cuckolding because the jealousy they feel while watching someone else pleasure their partner turns them on and actually makes them want to have sex with their significant other more. Some people go a step further and combine cuckolding with chastity by wearing a chastity device while watching the sex unfold in front of them. 

Again, this is also a common kink in BDSM play; the person in a chastity cage or belt plays the submissive role and is being controlled while being humiliated at the same time due to their partner having sex in front of them. The dominant may even call their partner offensive names or say other things to humiliate them, like how much bigger the other person’s penis is. The dominant behavior towards them, the cuckolding, and the chastity device create a melting pot of arousal for the submissive. Check out our article on cuckold humiliation to learn more about this masochistic aspect of a cuckold. 

How to add cuckold chastity into your sex life

1.Communicate. Say it with me: Communicate!

Like most kinks, cuckold chastity isn’t something that you just dive into. First of all, you need to decide whether it is right for you and your partner; communication is key! If you want your partner to be the cuckold (see cuckolding terms and constructs), but they are not into it, I’m afraid that you may not be able to explore this particular kink with them. Likewise, don’t push the subject if you want to be the cuckold and your partner doesn’t have any interest in having sex with someone else. The key thing not to do is nag and push them. We all know that feeling pressured to do something we don’t feel comfortable with makes us feel even less drawn to the act in question and sometimes even our partner. However, if your partner is into watching you have sex with someone else–or even hear about it through text messages and photos–they may also be willing to try wearing a chastity cage or belt during the event. The key message here is to talk to your partner about both of your desires.

2. Start slow

So you’ve bought your first chastity cage or chastity belt, and you’re ready to get started. But how? With any kink, it’s best to start slow. Start by getting your partner to wear the device around the house for small amounts of time–20 minutes should do the trick–then see how you both feel. Next time, you can increase the amount of time you keep your partner’s genitals locked up, tease them more intensely, and eventually, you can make them wear it to work or an event. For those who have a vagina, you could even buy a chastity belt with a built-in dildo.

3. Incorporate chastity into sex between you and your partner first

Your partner has been wearing the chastity device at the office or at that wedding you went to last weekend, and you’re both used to the dynamic that chastity creates between you. Now is the time to bring it into the bedroom. Locking your partner’s genitals away while engaging in sensual foreplay can really increase their arousal. If your partner has a penis, once you’ve caressed his whole body and kissed his hot spots, suck on his balls to bring blood flow to the genital area. That ought to get him moaning. If your partner has a vulva, tease them all over their body, graduating down to their genital area, kissing all around the chastity belt, getting as close to their locked-away hot spot as possible. If you really want to add another level to the foreplay, restrain your partner’s hands and blindfold them. Imagine being teased and caressed all over your body except the one place you need it most? That’s hot stuff.

4. Find the right person to invite into your bed.

Now you’re ready to start cuckolding. But wait! Like any consensual non-monogamy, communication is key down to who you invite into your bedroom. You both have to agree on who will be the bull or person having sex with you and how you will maintain safe sex. In their desire to fulfill their fantasies, many people forget about Sex 101: protecting yourself. Indulging in sexual fantasies is amazing, but only if everyone feels safe and happy. If you’re old enough to have sex, you are mature enough to have a conversation about safe sex. If someone just laughs at the idea of the safe-sex talk, run for the hills. Find someone who is a respectful individual and doesn’t shy away from the words ‘STI’ or ‘condom’. It is also a good idea to meet the third person in public if you don’t know them just to check that you vibe in real life before there’s any talk of sex.

5. Once you’ve found your person, invite them over and get frisky.

Great, you’ve found the person you want to be involved, you’ve had the safe-sex talk, everyone is enthusiastic about the event. Now is the time for execution. Cuckold chastity is not something to be rushed. Do it on a night where you feel relaxed and sexy, like a Friday or a Saturday night. Have your partner put on their chastity cage or belt an hour or so before the event. Spend some time getting to know the third person if you don’t know them already and have some drinks and light snacks. Word of warning, though: you’re going to want to remember this, so don’t overdo it on the alcohol. When it’s time to get sexy, you’ll know. Assume your roles and get cuckolding!