Sex is a romantic and exciting time for most. It can be fun, enthralling, and even relaxing. However, as a relationship goes on, sometimes sex becomes boring or feels like a chore. Are you sexually dissatisfied in your relationship? Don’t fret, there are many different reasons that could be the case, and once you figure that out, it’s easy to make some changes! Whether you’re burnt out at work, on medications that affect your sex drive, or just overall tired, there are so many reasons that we’ll dive in to here.
It’s easy to bring that spark back and spice your boring sex life up again – read on for more details.
First, identify why your sex is boring.
Every person’s drive and needs vary, so what your partner likes and what you like may be two completely different things. However, you have to meet in the middle and compromise with each other to make it satisfying for both.
Maybe one of you is coming home too late, and you’re too tired to have sex. You may be sexually bored of the same type of intimacy all the time. Or maybe you’ve been working on having kids, and you feel like sex is a chore now. Regardless, there are ways to change this feeling of boring sex.
Underlying issues of boring sex may be at play.
It may feel even more so a chore to figure out why your sex life is boring, but remember that without knowing the cause, you can’t fix it. Certain medical conditions and medications to treat them can cause a lower sex drive, so ruling these out first is very important. If you’re a woman, then it could be as simple as pain during penetration. This may make you want to avoid sex, and may have an easy solution. Depression and anxiety can also create the feeling of wanting to avoid sex, due to the fears or lack of motivation that you or your partner are experiencing. It’s even been shown the lack of sleep and insomnia can lead to decreased sexual appetite as well.
Have a healthy discussion.
If you’re feeling underwhelmed by your sex life, having an honest conversation can make a huge difference. Communication is so necessary in any relationship, and is part of the glue that holds it together. Remember to be non-judgemental, and not to put the blame on anyone. If it is a medical issue that’s causing this, the party experiencing these needs your love and understanding, not harshness. If you are upset by the changes in your normal sexual activity, communicate that without being angry about it.
Spicing it up a bit.
There are so many ways that you can bring excitement back and work on a reduced sex drive.
Talk more about dull sex!
Not communicating can make a huge difference. If you want to try something, let your partner know! If you feel like your partner has been disconnected and not paying attention to your needs, be open about it. No one can make positive changes if they don’t know what’s wrong. Remember, your partner can’t read your mind.
Make time for sex.
Set aside time to have sex. If you’re always busy, make sure to leave room or come home early so you can enjoy each other. If you have children, get a babysitter or have a friend/family member watch them for a night. This prevents you from feeling like sex is a chore, and helps your partner feel wanted, special, and desired.
Try role play.
If your sex life is boring because it’s always the same old thing, try adding in costumes and role play! This allows you to set an exciting scene, and discover something you may not have known you liked before. Make sure that your partner is open to trying it though, as not everyone is comfortable. Talk about your fantasies, and shop for fun things to use during this time together.
Don’t rule out sex toys.
Sex toys are a great addition to the bedroom to maintain a healthy sex life. There are so many types of sex toys, and trying different kinds can be a very easy way to spice up time in the bedroom.
Explore kinks and fetishes.
Kinks don’t have to be crazy. There are endless articles and blogs that talk about them – you may be surprised what gets your sex boring! Just remember that consent, communication, and clear boundaries are important to establish before you start exploring kinks.
Seek professional help.
Talking to a sex therapist may help if the problems are not showing themselves easily. Sex therapists are trained to help you uncover whatever it is affecting your sex life, and are a great third party to have to determine what you can do.
Key points to remember:
There are so many reasons sex may start to feel boring. Remember that neither partner is at fault, and that together you can work through this and bring that spark back!