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A Beginners Guide to Bondage.

Bondage is the art of rope and lacing while in a sexual setting. 

Astonishing, surely. But also highly erotic.

Of course, here we are very far from the simple lacing of shoes … but strangely close to the lacing of marine ropes. We will further explain these details to you a little later, but it is necessary to address the notion of confidence in yourself and your partner when practicing bondage. 

Without it, the sexual practice of bondage can quickly turn into a fiasco … And let’s face it: you deserve better for your Saturday night party. By feeling completely safe with your partner, you can completely let go and maybe even reach ecstasy. After all, that is what it’s all about, right?!

What Does Bondage Mean?

The whole principle of bondage is based on the opposition between the dominant, the one who ties the ropes, and the dominated (or submissive), the one who is tied. 

The dominant’s pleasure? To see his partner offer him his full confidence, to be able to appreciate and magnify each part of his / her partner’s body, but above all, to be able to be the sole decision-maker of the turn that this erotic game takes. 

The pleasure of the dominated? To be able to surrender, entirely, in the hands of the dominant and let his mind run free. To be able to experience pleasure in being touched, in being observed without any guilt, since he has no hold over the present moment, and to allow another to direct the entirety of the sexual experience.

Bondage For Beginners. How do we do it the first time? 

The most important thing with bondage is not the technique but the confidence: feeling comfortable above all. You need to agree with your partner about your respective boundaries, put taboos on the table, and know how far you can go. 

The mutual trust already announces the start of this new adventure. Start soft: 

Know how to say stop! Find a code or a simple way to slow your partner down when you feel your limits. In the world of bondage, utilize two possible codes, also known as safewords: one word to simply slow down your practices, another to stop everything completely. 

 

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How to take it to the next level?

A little spanking here and there not enough for you? Do you want more? You are ready to enter the mysterious and deep world of bondage. Let your creativity speak. Don’t limit yourself. Try out the different accessories, ropes, ties, adhesives, whips and find out what is right for you through research, experience, and trial and error!

Choose your role in bondage. 

Power and submission within sexual slavery- those are the roles maintained in bondage, and power and submission are, of course, very important within this practice. 

Nothing is more exciting than letting yourself dominate or dominating your partner. In addition to many SM toys, bondage toys such as bondage ropes, bondage tape, bondage chains, spreader bars, and bondage harnesses can also play an important role. 

Discuss who is in charge and completely surrender to the present moment. It is very exciting for the “Submissive” and the “Dominator” and allows them to enjoy all the beauty that bondage has to offer.

Enjoy safe bondage 

Enjoying bondage safely is very important, and it is essential that you practice it with someone you trust. This could be either your partner or a BDSM master or mistress. 

Communication is also very important, so discuss a word or stop sign ahead of time so that you can clearly indicate the pain and discomfort and stop your partner from bondage. 

Additionally, discuss each other’s physical condition and possible impossibilities. In bondage, there are different ways and options: often a bondage rope, BDSM leash or collar, blindfold and/or handcuffs are used. Any form of bondage has its dangers, so make sure that you and your partner/master/mistress have no physical issues and are in good condition for each of the tools. 

Warming up for bondage is also recommended, so make sure your muscles are warmed up with a little stretching ahead of time. The world of bondage is particularly exciting. 

Get some accessories

You can make these purchases on your own or with your partner. Personally, I prefer with a partner because I find that it opens the dialogue and creates an atmosphere of complicity conducive to BDSM sessions.

Take a trip to a sex shop, if you like, as it is beneficial to see the products and compare them in person. In addition, salespeople are often good advisers. But if you don’t have easy access to a physical store, shop online!

Shopping online from the safety and comfort of your own home is always the best option, as this allows for continuous conversation and research when needed. And of course, everything is entirely discreet!

Objects to discover and experience: 

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The accessories that you probably already have at home:

  •  Long silk scarves make great headbands and ties 
  • Ice cubes and melted candle wax provide very interesting sensations
  • Cream, honey, chocolate sauce or whipped cream to coat and then lick different parts of the body 
  • A thick metal collar cooled in the fridge for an hour will provide surprising sensations in contact with different parts of the body.

In fact, anything that turns you on is positive. You don’t have to spend a fortune to turn your room into a bondage dungeon. A few props, words, and your imagination are more than enough to have great BDSM experiences.

How do I tell my partner that I want to spice things up a bit? 

The answer to this question is honesty; you need to let your partner know how you are feeling. Now, you don’t necessarily need to just blurt out, so maybe watch a light bondage porn movie or describe scenes from an erotic novel that really turn you on. Sow the seeds in their mind and then let them grow. A caring partner should want to make you happy and do the things you love. 

Lose the Stereotype – Mention the word bondage to anyone and the first images to form in their minds are probably chains and dark, creepy 

dungeons when they just don’t know better, so shed light on the details of this subject.

Bondage can be very sensual, extremely exciting, but also very liberating. Bondage is just another tool for increasing your sexual pleasure, just the same as turning to vibrators and dildos to add arousal. Communication is essential – I cannot stress it enough, you must be able to communicate with your partner. 

 

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Aftercare 

Aftercare is the practice of examining each other after a scene (or a “play session”) to ensure that both partners feel good and are relaxed after what just happened. The dominant partner may apply ice to the submissive to reduce bruising, or provide water to hydrate. 

It is important to know that this follow-up involves physical but also emotional care. BDSM activity releases endorphins, which can lead to a “slack” in both dominants and submissives – this can in part be avoided-. There are often hugs and always a conversation to follow aftercare to bring you back to a comfortable state of reality.