Punishment is one of the most integrated aspects of a BDSM relationship.
If you are somewhat new to the world of BDSM, the acronym that stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism; then you will soon find that your specific kinks will manifest through acting as the provider of punishment and pain, or the one who receives the punishment and pain. And yes of course, perhaps you very much enjoy both.
Regardless of such, initiating punishment in a sexual setting can be a little intimidating and tricky to navigate, especially in your beginning stages. We are here to provide you some insight as to how to best act upon this sexual idiosyncrasy through this guide to punishment tips and ideas, so grab your favorite leather whip and a notepad and listen up!
How to Begin with BDSM Punishment.
Punishment is an extremely broad term. Contained within this word is a nearly infinite number of ways in which you can create punishment for your partner in a sexual setting, and to first begin with BDSM punishment, you should look into your relationship.
Make sure that the punishment kink is something you both want to pursue, talk about the levels of BDSM punishment of which you assume will feel comfortable (of course progressing with experience), and come up with a safe word or action that you agree on.
Once you’ve talked through all of that, you will then need to determine who will maintain the dominant role and who will maintain the submissive role. Although this can change during different sexual interactions, you want to keep the roles consistent during singular ones.
The Goal of BDSM Punishment.
Before getting into definitive methods by which you can implement BDSM punishment, it is essential to first understand the overall goal and purpose of this.
BDSM punishment aims to correct a submissive’s wrongdoings to result in a positive outcome of behavior change that the dominant seeks. As well as this, the actual act of providing or taking punishment itself is often the source of a turn-on.
Because the goal is to direct the submissive behavior, there are a few different methods to do this, and some might work better or worse depending on your and your relationship’s personalities.
First off, some of these punishments occur within and during sex, and others span into normal life elements outside of sex.
To summarize the general forms of BDSM punishment, this includes restricting or denying, forceful tasks, physical pain and discomfort, humiliation, and mental.
For BDSM punishment to correct a submissive behavior and thus deem itself as a ‘successful’ punishment, you will have to work through these varieties of punishment forms to find what both yourself and your submissive tend to feel is the most effective at correction.
Let’s get into a few BDSM punishments for you to try that hit on each of these categories.
Orgasm Restriction (Edging)
Restrict your partner’s orgasm through the act of edging. As they reach a point extremely close to climax, immediately pause all pleasures so that they do not cum.
As well as this, you can extend your orgasm restriction for days or weeks at a time for an extended period of extreme punishment, as it doesn’t have to just be momentary.
Chastity Belt
Deny your partner the pleasures of yourself with a chastity belt. Do not allow them access to your genital and make their desires pulse through other forms of foreplay that don’t lead to sex.
Only you have access to the key, and you can of course finish the job by yourself later, but deny them what they seek in the meantime.
Experience Restricting
Serious dominant and submissive relationships are carried out all day, every day in a 24/7 type of environment. Although this does not have to be the case for your relationship, you can still begin to implement forms of BDSM punishment that occur outside of just when you are having sex.
You can choose to restrict your partner from any life experience you wish. Force them into not being allowed to attend public events with friends or tell them to get ready for a date and then deny them from going.
It might seem cruel, but that is what BDSM punishment is all about, and the more hardcore the punishment the greater chance for positive correction.
Restrict them From Touch
Aside from just sexual touch, you can deny your sub the feeling of any touch at all. No holding hands, no cuddling on the couch. Not a single touch of your skin.
As time goes on they will urge more and more to feel your intimate warmth against them, and this punishment is sure to correct their bad behavior.
Force them with Errands
Need some things taken care of around the house? Maybe you need to do a quick trip to the store? Oh no, not with a submissive in need of punishment.
Force your submissive to do these errands for you, and you can spice up the requirements of the task by making them not wear any underwear or by controlling a remote control vibe as they shop.
Force them to Masturbate
Make your partner masturbate until they reach a climax as you control the setting.
Can they watch pornography or must they do it with only their imagination? Are they stuck alone in a dark room to finish themselves or do you want to watch them?
The choice is up to you.
For even more punishment, control the number of times of which they must orgasm. Even if they are over the stimulation, force it upon themselves to climax one more time despite their will to do so.
Slut-Shaming
Has your sub been really bad (or too good) lately?
If so, then they need serious punishment. For this, try a form of public slut-shaming.
Make them wear a slightly see-through outfit. Write the letters “Slut” on a t-shirt for all to see as you also force them into public errands. Make them post a picture on social media accepting their sluttyness. Anything that forces them into admitting out loud their wrongdoings.
Cuckolding
If you are open about sex and serious about your BDSM relationship, then cuckolding is one of the most forceful forms of punishment that your sub could ever succumb to.
Cuckolding is the act of forcing the submissive to watch you have sex with somebody else. Although it’s pretty intense, and you probably need to talk with your partner outside of your BDSM roles about it, if it is something that is okay then your punishment will never be the same again as this is the epitome of all humiliation.
You can also perform less-intense role-playing versions of this by pleasing yourself with a toy that mimics genitalia and making them watch, so keep that in mind if you are not fully ready for a cuckold.
Pain and Discomfort
Punish your submissive through any form of pain or discomfort you like.
Spank them with a whip or with your hands. Take the air out of their lungs by choking them or forcing gag balls into their mouth. Give them a subtle little slap on the cheeks.
Anything that you can think of that adds a little pain or discomfort here in a sexual setting will act as BDSM punishment.
Temperature Play
Both the sensation of too hot and too cold can act as punishment for your sub.
Force them into taking a cold shower or rub ice along their bare skin. Make them use hot rocks on their back or very lightly heat up a dildo under warm or cool water before using it.
Force them into working out so that they break into a hot sweat. Being hot or cold is never comfortable, and that is exactly why you should utilize it as punishment.
Furniture Punishment
Want to really humiliate and punish your sub?
Force them to act as furniture!
Have them sit on their hands and knees while you kick back and use them as a leg rest while you watch your favorite show. Make them act as your chair while you eat dinner. Make them sit in a corner for prolonged periods to mimic a boring coffee table.
This kind of punishment will be both physical and very mental, which makes it extremely effective.
School Boy/Girl Punishments
Nothing is more classic than the age-old punishments we used to face at school.
If your sub needs correction, then force them into exactly these types of punishments. Make them write lines 100 times on a blank piece of paper. Force them to the corner of the room while wearing a dunce hat. You could even give them a nice spanking with a yardstick.
Not only is this BDSM punishment a great way to correct behavior, but your sub might very much enjoy being bossed around by their favorite professor.