BDSM is one of the most riveting, erotic, and intimate sexual activities that fulfill even your deepest of desires, as BDSM allows you to discover freedom within yourself and your sexual relations that creates newfound meaning to kinky play.
Although this type of play is meant to cross certain lines and break certain barriers, the truth will always remain that the most important aspect regarding your dominant and submissive relationship is to ensure that there is always comfortable consent between one another; and that the integrity of both individuals in the relationship is maintained.
BDSM, however, has lasting effects outside of the bedroom, and it is ever so important to make sure that you are implementing certain strategies to maintain positivity to these effects.
Among BDSM and its techniques, one of the most necessary of those strategies is the essential need to create and maintain a proper plan of BDSM aftercare.
What is BDSM Aftercare?
BDSM aftercare is the mental and physical care required after a BDSM session, and it applies to every party involved. To summarize simply, it is the proper and necessary means of making sure that everyone is happy, calm, and otherwise okay after the play.
Although BDSM can range in intensity, with anything from light spanking to the inclusion of major BDSM toys, there are always a few consistent truths that remain.
Those truths include the spike of your adrenal rush, intensified heartbeats, and pure excitement. It also includes leaving the reality of now for the moments in which you are encompassed by your current BDSM play, entering a state of role-playing bliss.
Basically, we need to bring ourselves back to our reality and our usual state of being after we enter these alluring fantasies.
And why is this BDSM aftercare so important?
It is because BDSM creates a certain type of high, and a wonderful one at that, but just as with every other high there is always a comedown. When things really get going, especially when there is a rather large threshold of pain involved, your adrenaline is out the roof, and when you come back down it can start to mess with your mental emotions!
Unfortunately so, a lot of those who are new to BDSM do not realize this, and not taking the time to implement proper BDSM aftercare might just be why so many do not continue down this sexually enlightening path.
The comedown from BDSM can leave you feeling, well, many things really.
Maybe you are having a tough time coming back to reality and you cannot come down from the adrenaline quite yet. Maybe your position in your BDSM relationship creates a mindset that, if not acted on properly, leads to feelings of depression or worthlessness. Or, perhaps your body simply needs attention to address some of those little cuts and bruises that might happen to prevent any form of infection or further injury.
No matter what, there are plenty of strategies that can easily address and take care of BDSM aftercare so that only the best attributes and pleasure are derived from this kinky interaction and so that the mind and body of both the submissive and the dominant are completely taken care of.
Some are immediate and must be acted upon right after you have completed your session, and others are more long term, as BDSM aftercare can take place well after your session has ended. So let us get into some BDSM aftercare techniques that will promote a healthy, exciting, and fulfilling aura to your love life.
BDSM Aftercare Techniques.
Start BDSM Aftercare Before you Begin!
It might not sound like aftercare that way, but it really still is. It is necessary to talk to your partner before you begin your BDSM play to address the fact that aftercare is essential to one another, and that you are going to open your communication before the experience so that all parties feel comfort in knowing they can speak aloud their needs after the comedown when the session has ended.
Once you are experienced with BDSM and your partner, in particular, understanding how they address aftercare will become more personalized to them and you, and you will more easily be able to implement the best ways in which you can care for them. But when learning a new partner, communication is always the first step to proper BDSM aftercare.
Begin With a Check-In.
When you are finished playing, the best way to initiate BDSM aftercare is to simply start with check-in. Remember, you have already made it clear that aftercare is important to you, and a subtle check-in should be very much expected and appreciated.
By asking your partner if they are okay and if they are feeling grounded and well, you might receive a very positive response that says “yes, absolutely!”. They may only need that, to constitute as after care, but you also might open up the doors to the honest communication you need that allows your partner to further voice their emotions and what kinds of things will help them to feel better.
Clean up The Area.
To ground yourselves, one of the best ways to do so is to clean up the area (or move to a non-playful area) and hide away any of your whips, handcuffs, or any other BDSM toys you might have used. You want to come back to reality, and leaving those out will bring back the riveting nostalgia that might be better left for another day of reminiscing.
Treat any Injuries.
The mind is as equally as important as the physical body when it comes to BDSM aftercare. When sessions get intense, oftentimes small cuts, scrapes, friction burns, or bruising can occur. And although that is part of why some of us relish the joys of this kinky play, it is still important to treat these wounds after your session.
Apply disinfectant and antibiotic cream to any of the cuts after cleaning them up, and you may want to also wrap them up or band-aid them. For burns and bruising, using an aloe vera gel or cream with essential oil blends that reduce inflammation and pain work great.
If things really hurt and if you are sore, you may also want to take care of the pain with an OTC painkiller like ibuprofen.
Hydration.
BDSM sessions can take a really long time and they can be extremely invigorating, and with this, it is too common to become dehydrated. Always ensure to offer a simple glass of water or a Gatorade to promote hydration so that the body can focus on the importance of calming you down.
Warm-Up!
The adrenaline of your BDSM play can make you feel cold, shaky, and anxious as your body works to return to its normal state. To help keep yourself calm, focused, and grounded, it is essential to make sure that you are warm and comfortable.
Lay somewhere that is soft and inviting and with warm blankets or a big tee shirt, such as the couch or the bed, and again, away from where you were playing!
After you have hydrated, some warm decaf coffee or decaf tea can be a nice way to relax and warm yourself internally to calm yourself down from the inside out.
Maintain a Positive Attitude.
To best do your job and take care of your partner, maintaining a positive attitude will act as one of the most efficient means of making sure that they enjoy and appreciate both your sessions together and you as an individual.
Negativity can spread like wildfire, and nothing can be harder to bounce back from than a negative mindset that initiates a downward spiral of anxiousness, negative thoughts, and even depression.
Always keep your moods and mindsets headed in the right direction by staying completely positive!
Follow up With your Partner.
Not all individuals experience some of the negative emotions or thought processes immediately after BDSM has ended, and that is why BDSM aftercare can extend to days after. A follow up with your partner, even if you do not maintain a close relationship outside of your submissive and dominant state, is a great way to make sure that they are feeling completely grounded and okay.
You may even want to talk about a scheduled phone call so that both parties can expect having to address their feelings and so it is not out of complete surprise, but no matter what, a check-up just a few days later is thoughtful and well respected as a means of BDSM aftercare.
