Not every day is going to be perfect in life, and nothing could be more true than in terms of sexual relationships. Navigating our human idiosyncrasies is one of the most important aspects in terms of making sure everyone involved in a relationship is taken care of and happy, and sometimes this requires a little bit of sacrifice or a little bit of change.
If you or your partner, unfortunately, suffer from back pain, then you probably know this all too well.
Back pain is no fun in the first place, but it’s all too common. Even slight back pain can really interfere with your sexual abilities to quite a large extent, one of the greatest examples of needing a new plan of action on how to best perform sex with your partner.
And although you might not be going to pound town, as a lot of sexual motions and movements often increase the levels of discomfort, this doesn’t mean that you cannot have sex just because of pain in your back. With a few adjustments to your sex positions, utilizing the pleasure of the right sex toy, and approaching sex carefully with your partner, back sex can be incredible sex.
So stick around to learn and to find out more in this guide to back sex and how to have sex with back pain, including the best back sex positions and other useful tips!
Back Sex Positions
It’s not like your sexual desires go anywhere just because you are hurting, and in fact, sex itself can even reduce your pain levels. To make sure that you only receive the benefits of sex and not more pain, let’s get into some of the best back sex positions.
We are all unique, and our back pain comes from different places and for different reasons, so not every position will work for all. But these positions are each great at taking pressure and weight off of your back and can act as the beginnings of experimenting until you find what feels best for you.
Doggy style is great for back sex because it does not put too much weight on your back, regardless of which partner is in pain.
Whoever is being penetrated can instead place all the weight on their knees and hands, and for even more back support, one can lean up against the bed and place a pillow underneath their stomach.
For some back pains, remaining on the back is the best approach. Missionary is a worthy position to try for orgasm-inducing back sex.
If it feels best when your back is not bent, then missionary laying down with the legs extended fully out is a great back sex position.
But sometimes extending the legs increases pain. If this is the case, then try having the partner who is on their back bend their knees closer to their stomach.
This method allows for newfound pleasure with the angle of your penetration and is also a great way to reduce pressure on the spine. For even more support, you can place a pillow or a lumbar support pillow underneath the lower back.
If the partner in pain is the one doing the thrusting, if there is too much pain while lying down, then try missionary with them standing up while you lay on the bed. This way they do not have to support their weight up with their own arms, and the other still receives the full range of sensation from the varying angles of penetration in this back sex position.
Sometimes back pain feels its best when you are laying on your side. And good news for you, laying on your sides can provide to be quite the erotic sex position.
Similar to doggy style buy laying down, the partner receiving penetration will lay on the side that hurts the least, giving their back a slight arch (adjusting to pain levels, of course) so that their penetration can effortlessly ensue.
This back sex position works wonders for a painful back, as you do not put your own or your partner’s weight onto the pain points. You can also maintain easy control over your thrusting movements, and you don’t need a lot of back and forth action for this position to feel incredible.
Other Tips for Feel-Good Back Sex
Aside from working with varying sex positions to minimize your back pain while making love, there are a few other strategies worth keeping in mind that help to both reduce pain and increase your chance of climax!
Use Sex Toys
When your back is in pain, some of your pleasures will be distracted by this pain. That, and you might not be able to perform things like intense thrusting or spanking that you otherwise enjoy and that help you to reach climax. And the last thing, sex toys are a must-have for solo back sex, as somethings using your own fingers require an angle of your arm that might hurt.
To increase sensation without adding to your back pain, all you have to do is add some sex toys to the mix!
Sex toys provide pleasures that humans simply cannot, and most of them require no effort or movement, and all you have to do is lay in a comfortable position and let the vibrator (or whatever your favorite toy is) do the work!
And you can absolutely use these toys in conjunction with your partner’s penetration for heightened sensuality to both.
When movements are otherwise held back, use sex toys to make up for any of your lack of sensations caused by your back pain.
Take a Bath
Taking a bath before having sex is a great way to look out for your body before you get dirty under the sheets. Hot baths reduce inflammation and pain levels on your back, especially if you choose to add Epsom salts and essential oils.
But more than that, a hot bath can act as a great place for foreplay and as a romantic setting that leads into sex, so use it to its full advantage in conjunction with lowering your back pain.
Ice Your Back
I know, it might not be that sexy, but sometimes all it takes is 10 or so minutes of icing your back before having sex to reduce your pain greatly.
Simply lie down on an ice pack for a while and by doing so you are helping to ensure that the sex is good for both parties involved.
Topical Pain Relief
It’s never a bad idea to throw on some of your favorite topical pain relief lotions or gels a bit before intimacy.
If you suffer from back pain, then you probably already use these kinds of topicals for pain relief for everyday life. Just because you are having sex doesn’t mean that you should skip out on this relief, so keep that in mind if you have any plans later and lather it on!
To look out for both of your best interests, keeping open and honest communication is key. Your partner simply doesn’t know the levels of your pain, and because of such, it is your responsibility to let them know.
Just be honest when something hurts, speak it out loud, and change it up! You are in a sexual relationship because you trust each other, and they will absolutely understand the need to work with you in a comfortable manner.
Plus, there’s a good chance that by communicating, the sex will be better for them as well, so open communication is key!