So you had the hottest dream about you and your partner in a threesome but didn’t know how to tell them that you wish this to become a reality? 

Good news, we’re here to help you figure out exactly how to have a threesome in this Ultimate Guide! 

To figure out the dynamics and the logistics, there’s a lot of thought that goes into having a threesome. Unlike movie scenes, threesomes are not always spontaneous and wild. In reality, you have to work a little harder to get to them and enjoy your experience. 

How to have a threesome is not a question that needs rocket science to decode. It’s all about the vibes, the energy, and the comfort with which each of you enters the threesome situation. It can actually be very easy, fun, and pleasurable for everyone involved. Here are a few things that can help you get started on your quest for threesome sex:

How to bring up a threesome to your current partner.

If you’re already in a steady relationship where it’s just the two of you, this might be the most difficult part about the sexual fantasies you have. You might find yourself asking “how does a threesome work?”, “Are threesomes fun?”, or “should I have a threesome?”. Lucky for you, we at V for Vibes are here to help you. To bring up a threesome with your partner, you can try asking their thoughts and feelings about it. Tell them why you’re interested in one, and find out if they would like it, too. The key is simple honesty. 

Another way you can approach this topic is by watching movies or TV series that depict couples having a threesome. If your partner seems into it, it might be the right time to ask them if they’d like to try it! 

It might take a few conversations and a little bit of time for both of you to start getting comfortable with the idea, so don’t be too pushy if your partner is hesitating or recoiling. Make sure that both of you are doing it for similar reasons and are on the same page before deciding to invite a third person into your bedroom, and take your time with turning this fantasy into a reality. 

Answer the “Why” Question.

When you talk to your partner, the first thing they might ask is why you’re interested in a threesome anyway. Remember, there should be no guilt for wanting to explore your sexual fantasies, and no one should make you feel awkward or upset about them. But it is important to think about what you’re hoping to achieve from this encounter with threesome sex. 

Before jumping straight into the logistics, sit down with your partner and think of what it is about a threesome that seems enjoyable for both of you, and why you should pursue this idea together, as a couple.

Find a Third 

Finding a third might be a challenging aspect of having threesome sex, so if you’re wondering how to have a threesome, this is an excellent place to start narrowing down your options. 

Talk to your partner and see if there are any preferences that either of you have. Could it be a friend? A stranger you meet at a bar? On a dating app?

Set ground rules with your partner about who is a possible third and who isn’t, as this will help you move through your list quicker and will find you a third in no time! 

Just make sure anyone you ask to be a third knows exactly the situation they are stepping into – tell them that you and your partner are looking for someone to join them in a threesome, and be straightforward enough in your approach so that they are not caught off guard.  

How to Start a Threesome

Initiating play during a threesome can get awkward if no one knows how to have a threesome. To make it fun and pleasurable for all three of you, set the right mood and make sure everyone is comfortable before you get started. Begin by doing what makes you and your partners comfortable and excited; choose the right music and light and a safe spot for all of you to be fully immersed in the experience. Taking it slow is also essential, don’t skip any chances of foreplay. And, of course, bring in toys! 

How to Avoid Awkward Encounters in a Threesome

Silence can be hard to manage, especially in a threesome, but it’s not unnatural to experience some silences in threesome sex. 

We have another article explicitly meant for keeping things flowing in a threesome, so do check that out! 

For a quick run-down on how to avoid awkward encounters, communicate, ask if everyone is having a good time, and divide attention equally between all partners. 

Do your part and take turns giving and receiving pleasure. Bring in the toys if you’re feeling adventurous! Toys can be a great way to keep everyone entertained and for that added stimulation that will make the experience of a threesome worthwhile. 

Talk to your partners, laugh at their jokes, and communicate your needs throughout the duration of the threesome, and you will find no awkward silences to worry about. 

Try Different Positions

Trying new positions might be interesting on its own, but in threesome sex, new positions can really elevate your mood and light up the room! Strap-on dildos are a great toy to have nearby, especially if you are engaging in a same-sex threesome to make sure everyone is included. 

Some of the most famous positions for FFM threesomes are the cowgirl, the train, or if you’re feeling extra special, the voyeur can be your favorite. And of course, things always get interesting when trying out male-male-female positions. 

New positions may be more exciting and inclusive and keep the vibes going. If it’s a position you haven’t tried before, communicate that to both your partners, and if you’re willing to, give it a shot in a comfortable environment. 

This can spice things up, make sure everyone is getting some amount of attention, and nobody feels left out. Get to know what the other people in the threesome want and need to have a fulfilling experience. Spend time before and after the threesome itself with both your partners to make sure everyone is comfortable and able to communicate, as aftercare is also vital.

Sex Toys! 

This might not be new information, but trust us, sex toys can really change up the game in how you have a threesome. At V for Vibes, we have something for everyone; browse Our Shop category to find a toy that works for you and your partners. This might also be a great time to explore anal play, or add the extra vibrations needed to take you over the edge! Toys can also be used to indulge fully in the sensations you’re experiencing, and will give your partners the space to entertain you and themselves throughout the duration of threesome sex. 

Threesomes CAN be fun and eye-opening in terms of self-discovery and finding what works for you best! If you and your partner enjoy the threesome, it can even become a part of your usual sex life, but keep communication at the top of your priority list to find out. Check-in during and after the threesome, keep an open mind, and know that this might not work for you. And that’s okay!

But if it does, be sure to follow our tips and tricks for a complete experience to leave you and your partners fulfilled and feeling cared for.