Many of us have been led to believe that anal sex and play is as easy as slipping it in and going at it. Despite the depiction of this from popular movies and TV shows, it’s not that simple. You should always prepare and slowly work up to this kind of play first! We don’t just mean using the bathroom and buying lube. It takes practice. It can be weeks, even months of preparation to be physically prepared for anal play.

Some call this process anal training, and it’s basically a set of play and workouts for your anus to be prepared to take a larger object inside of it. This doesn’t mean lifting weights, but to experiment with things such as toys and fingers slowly (depending on your comfort level) to gradually expand it for larger toys or a penis.

Ready to learn more?

A little basic training can’t hurt.

Not sure if you should try anal training? If you want to learn more about anal play, you can’t go wrong by training!

Remember to try it alone first.

Dipping your toes in to playing alone to help you get an idea of what to expect. It will also help you understand what sensations are the most comfortable and pleasurable for you. This can also take away any pressure to do it for your partner.

Don’t be quiet!

Make sure you communicate! It’s easy to be quiet and focus on what’s happening, but if your partner is practicing on you, you’ll want to talk through the process so they know how you’re feeling. If you are experiencing pain, you have to let them know. If you are enjoying it, that’s important to let them know as well!

Try to have a bowel movement, and take a shower first!

If you’re concerned about a potential mess, remember that poo is usually stored higher up However, you can mitigate that fear by using the bathroom first. In reality, the risk is actually pretty low if you eat healthily and have regular bowel movements.

Remember to be patient with yourself.

You can’t just practice in one day and go at it! Anal training means going back and keeping up the routine so that you can eventually take on larger and larger fingers or toys in order to graduate to a penis or dildo.

If you’re using an anal training kit, don’t feel pressure to work your way through the whole thing immediately. It could take a week or longer before you work your way up a size – it’s all about what’s comfortable for you.

Do NOT forget lube!

Seriously – go overboard with lube. Your vagina is self-lubricating, but anus is not. This means any anal play will be painful if you don’t have use a lubricant. Spit doesn’t count!

We recommend silicone lube over water-based when it comes to anal, as silicone usually lasts longer. Remember not to use silicone with silicone-based toys, as it could potentially degrade the material.

Try to orgasm first.

This can help your sphincter relax and enjoy things more!

When using toys, use the right ones.

Make sure the toy has a flared base so it doesn’t get lost in your rectum, which can result in a not-so-fun ER trip. The larger the base, the easier the toy will be to control, explains Relph. She also recommends staying away from toys that are too bulbous in the beginning, as you want to take it slow.

Remember to breathe

Not doing so could actually cause you to tense up, which could cause you pain.

If something hurts, stop and listen to your body.

Even with lube, it is possible to tear the inside of your rectum, so go slowly at first. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

With all anal play, finding the things that feels best for you is key. Take a look at our butt plugs – these are a great entry level training toy! For more information on anal play, check out this article from Healthline! They have some phenomenal tips and tricks for making this a pleasurable experience for you. Happy playing!