According to sexual health experts, anal pleasure is the next great frontier of sexual exploration.
Many people are getting familiar with toys and tricks to enjoy rimming, plugging, pegging, and anal fingering. Anal fingering is a special type of anal stimulation that includes inserting one or more fingers into the anus and applying pressure to the anus for pleasure.
A sex-ed expert Alicia Sinclair mentioned that the anus is a hub of nerve endings which, when stimulated, can be extremely pleasurable. This explains that anal orgasms are legit, and perhaps something that you will feel in your lifetime should you explore this invigorating practice!
Benefits of Anal Fingering
As far as the benefits of anal fingering are concerned, the most important one is that you are already equipped with the tools you need to get started; your hands.
You can do it individually for masturbation or with your partner during foreplay or sex for an incredibly intimate experience. According to Sinclair, both partners enjoy the tactile sensations and are sensuous of the experience when one partner fingers the other. The same can’t be said when a dildo or a string of anal beads is used.
To double the fun, here is an ultimate guide to anal fingering, especially if you a beginner.
Start by Touching Yourself
Anal fingering, like masturbation, is the key to exploring any kind of sexual activity. To start, use external genital stimulation to turn yourself on. If you are a vulva owner, use a different toy or finger before you slide into your vagina and anus to prevent bacterial spread.
Lube up your entrance and start fingering when you are ready, and spend some time making circles around the opening. Then breathe a deep breath and apply pressure to the opening. You’ll be able to slip your fingers in and feel your body relax into this pleasurable situation.
From here, let what feels good take the lead. Evan Goldstein, the CEO and founder of Bespoke Surgical, a sexual wellness company specializing in anal health-related issues, mentioned that practicing anal self-pleasure will help you enjoy anal fingering individually and with your partner too.
And it will be easier for you and your partner to relax when you are anally fingered, as you have experienced this sensation before, making it so that you are better at providing the pleasures of anal fingering because you know how it feels.
Anal Fingering Talk for Partnered Play
Have the anal fingering talk when you’re ready to move forward. And always gain consent before you take any action in a partnered play.
You should converse clearly about what you both are hoping to get out of the experience and who’ll be the giving or receiving partner.
What is the Deal with Poop?
Firstly, understand that dealing with poop in an anal fingering play is not even legit.
According to Dr. Goldstein, feces is stored in the upper bowel, which is separate from the internal sphincter. Your body has to send signals to your brain to relax the sphincter which, is initiated only when you go to the bathroom.
Your internal sphincter relaxes only when you’re aware, and only when you consciously relax your internal sphincter. So you don’t have to worry about it because poop never comes without a prior warning!
The reality is that a finger is not capable of reaching up to the internal sphincter and pass up to where the poop is unless your partner has truly huge hands and fingers.
However, there can be a little bit of fecal matter still hanging in the rectum, and taking a shower or a bath is adequate for cleaning the area. If you are nervous about poop coming from you and it’s keeping you from enjoying the experience, you may use a water enema rinse an hour beforehand. You should always consult a medical professional before doing this.
Use Finger Cots for Easier Glide
If you’re looking to make post-play clean-up easier in addition to smoothing the surface of the finger for easy penetration, consider using finger cots. Finger cots are condoms made of nitrile or latex especially designed for your digits.
People should consider wearing them, especially those who are nail-biters, acrylic nail havers, people with chronic hangnails, and folks having finger calluses.
The best that can happen is that too much texture can overstimulate the anal nerves and the worst that can happen is that nail roughage can cause micro-tears to the sensitive and thin anal tissues.
Foreplay for Arousal
Ramp up your arousal to get in the mood first with partnered anal fingering, just as you did during the initial masturbation step.
There is no right or wrong way to do this, but manual sex, kissing, mutual masturbation, and sensation-play are all good places to start.
Use Lube for Smooth-play.
Lube is an absolute must-have for anal play because, unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. There is too much friction without lubrication, and you’ll feel like you’re getting a rug burn.
Oil-based lube is preferred because it’s long-lasting. But all that oil can degrade latex and can impair protection against disease transmission. So always complete anal fingering with an effective clean-up afterward.
Is Anal Massage the same as Anal Fingering?
Although the terms anal fingering and anal massage are used interchangeably, they’re not the same. Anal massage refers to the external rubbing of the anus, while anal fingering refers to the internal stimulation. Still, massage is great preparation for anal fingering.
To start the massage, apply circular motions to the nerve-dense muscles of the anal opening for pleasure and help those muscles open up so you can slide your fingers inside when you want to.
When to Dive in?
If you don’t know when to enter the opening, look for signals when your partner’s body is relaxed enough to go from external play to internal play, and the hole itself will open up a little bit. And right after you get this invitation, the green flag from your partner, slide in your finger up to the first knuckle.
Stay in there and hold it for two to three seconds and then take it out and re-lubricate it if you need to.
This time, go in again and just a smidge deeper if your partner’s body allows and repeats this for a longer duration.
This will excite your partner even more. Continue this pattern as long as it feels good for your partner, and slowly move in and out until you’re able to get the anal sphincter muscles to fully relax.
And once the muscles relax, experiment with different types of touch and ask your partner how they feel about it and their preferences. Some people enjoy tapping while others like light thrusting.
If your partner is a prostate owner, he may enjoy having you curl up your fingers towards his penis and make a come hither motion. This will stimulate his pleasure spots leading to what you may call a full-body orgasm.
Keep Anal Fingering and Vaginal-play Separate.
The anus and vagina have separate environments and normal flora. Double-dipping can lead to the transfer of anal bacteria, which, although it might be good for your anal health, can be bad for the vagina.
This can mess up the pH and lead to overgrowth of other microorganisms, causing bacterial vaginosis, urinary tract infections, and vaginal thrush.
So After anal fingering and before engaging in vaginal play, have your partner change their finger cots or have them wash up during an intermission.
Communicate the Outcomes
Pillow talking and enjoying each other is a thing couples should generally be doing after sex, but after a new sexual activity like anal fingering, it becomes highly essential.
If you loved the feeling of your partner accepting your finger in their intimate part or the feeling of your partner’s finger in you, the best thing you can do is to let them know. It will make them feel confident and loved. Trying most new sexual activities can be intimidating, so make sure that your partner feels cared for.
Practice Makes You Perfect
Ideally, you should wait for three or four sessions before adding a second or third finger, but eventually, you can increase the width of what’s being used. And even if you don’t love anal fingering on the first try, you should not give up on anal play completely.
Some people don’t like anal fingering, but they love butt plugs because a butt plug is somewhat smoother, and rather than moving in and out of the body, it is designed for a sensation of fullness.
Conclusion
Gradual build-up and adequate lubrication is the key to making anal fingering or any other anal stimulation used for this purpose pleasurable for both partners. Use both oil and water-based lubes for different experiences and start very slowly at first. Most people want to start by having their partners massage or apply pressure to the anus. Then the tip of one finger can be inserted slowly, followed by additional fingers if your partner is relaxed and finds it pleasurable for the epitome of an anal experience!