Few things are more gratifying to a person in love than finally discovering the key to their partner’s heart. Identifying and speaking your partner’s love language is arguably the most important way to build and sustain intimacy. Everyone has a specific thing that signifies affection to them. It could be the acts of service love language, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, or words of affirmation.

If you ever read anything about relationships, there’s a possibility that you’ve come across Gary Chapman‘s 5 love languages. For those who love acts of service, it means you feel love more with visible actions than abstract words and intention. It gets more interesting! This article answers “what is acts of service love language,” how to tell if this is your partner’s language, and more. Check it out!

What is Acts of Service Love Language?

Do you swoon at the thought of a delicious meal waiting for you after a long day at work, or does your heart skip a beat when your partner helps you out with anything? Then there are chances that the act of service is your love language. The acts of service love language describe people who get excited at the thought of their partner helping them out with stuff. 

Does this sound like you? It means you feel most loved when your partner tends to your needs, does things for you, and does not only do things to you or with you. You are excited when your partner finds ways, whether big or small, to make life easier for you. But this is it; this love language does not make you a nag or high maintenance; it just means that, to you, actions speak louder than words. 

How to tell if your partner needs this love language?

If you wonder if this is your partner’s love language, they could just take the test to see things for themselves. But if not, here are some signs associated with acts of service:

• They always desire your help and find it hard to ask, so they won’t appear needy

• They always appreciate what you do for them, and they never forget to say “thank you.”

• They always value the support you offer

• They like to rely on you to handle some of the day-to-day duties.

• They feel loved when they see you notice things you can do to help them out. 

Acts of Service Love Language Examples.

Acts of service love language can mean different things to people, but here are a few acts of service love language examples to show your partner how much you care

• Pay a bill before your partner does it
• Prepare breakfast in the morning
• Help them wash, fold and put away their clothes
• Get your partner their favorite treat for no reason at all
• Curate a playlist of their favorite songs and share it with your partner.
• Book a massage after a stressful week so they can relax
• Help them with their important projects.
• Offer to carry things for them
• Draw a bath for them
• Run errands for them

How to Use this Love Language with your Partner.

Ask what Acts of Service Mean to them.

Communication and more communication! There’s no room for assumptions when it comes to acts of service. Suppose you have identified that your partner loves acts of service, then you are one step closer to making your partner feel happy and loved. You are not a mind reader. Ask your partner what the acts of service love language means to them because their definition might be different from yours. Instead of assuming that you know how to please them, you should ask questions. 

Pay Attention to the Little Things.

There are many acts of service love language examples- different things you could do for your partner to make them happy. Pay attention to details and look out for the little things that brighten their day. What does your partner want to do on your next vacation? How much sugar do they put in their morning coffee? You can take notes if you find it hard to remember.

Be Spontaneous.

The best acts of service are done without meaning to. If you are doing a service your partner never asked you to, it does not only show you are paying attention to their needs but how much you care. Use surprise to your advantage, and exceed your partner’s expectations.

Put in your 100% efforts.

Asides from going through acts of love language tips, you need to put in the effort. Don’t just go through the motions mindlessly. Ensure your heart is there. Fulfill your partner’s acts of service love language because you want to, not because it’s what your partner wants. Your actions should come from a place of love and not one of guilt, helplessness, or anger. If you find yourself resenting your partner for meeting a need of theirs that is not reasonable, that goes against what you stand for, or makes you feel uneasy; it is FINE to say no. 

Don’t expect anything in return.

It is easy to do lovely things when we know we’ll get something in return. But if you base your actions on the returns you’ll get from your partner, your motive has gone from showing love to doing business. And this is not a great way to run your relationship.

Ask for Feedback.

Part of being human is accepting that you are not perfect – but still working on yourself anyway. Your partner is someone you can trust to be sincere with you, both about what they love about you and about the things they want you to improve on. Ask your partner for their feedback regularly. You could say, “Do I make you happy? What are the things you’d like me to improve on? What are the things I could do to make you happy?” This shows you care enough about them and their needs.

How to Make Your Relationship Work if Acts of Service is Your Love Language.

Appreciate Your Partner.

It is easy to take the little things your partner does for granted. No matter the years you’ve been together, make sure you remind them of how grateful you are to have them. Especially when it comes to acts of service love language, saying things like, “Thank you so much, babe” or “I appreciate this honey” are easy ways to show your partner that their efforts in the relationship are not going unnoticed.

Communicate.

Communication is vital. Instead of keeping your desires to yourself and getting angry when your partner does not know what you want or feel, be open about the specific acts you value.

Don’t Harbor Resentment.

Remember my earlier point where I said your partner is not a mind reader. If they are not offering you acts of service now, that doesn’t mean you should let go or assume they don’t love you enough. Regardless of the acts of service love language tips that you see online, it is up to you to come up with unique ways that make you feel loved and appreciated.

Ultimately, acts of service love language mean lending a helping hand to your significant other, both when they ask for it and even when they don’t need it. It is all about acknowledging their needs and how they want to be loved. Perform acts that communicate your affection so they can feel special all the time.